Ain’t no sunshine…

So, I am sitting on my deck, during my never taken lunch break, hoping the sun hitting my face will make me feel better. Normally, quiet time, in the sun, helps lift my spirits.

As I sit out here, the sun is warm and the air is perfect. Finley is being lazy chewing on a bone or a stick and I am trying to turn off the negativity that is running the show today. Too bad the neighbor is cutting down trees or something that is loud and disturbing my inner search for peace! Ever  just want to scream? Yeah, that’s me today, but this particular neighbor likely wouldn’t take that to kindly, so I sit here irritated that they are being so dang loud! I wish I lived on 10 acres with no neighbors!

Things I have done today, all of which have resulted in crappy results, so I am feeling a bit like a failure, which is never a good thing!

1) Called United and tried to request, beg, demand that they wave the fee for needing to change James’ flight in two weeks! See MD Anderson informed us Tuesday that James needs a biopsy at his next appointment so it will be a two day appointment! That is not on his scheduled appointment list so we had planned on him going alone, get his infusion and coming home all within 24 hours! But NO!! Now I have to pay 200 bucks to change the flight to depart on Sunday plus the extra 137 bucks for the flight difference!

2) I called our insurance company, as some policies will reimburse you for your travel and lodging if you are in a trial. Guess what? Not ours!

3) I finally cancelled our vacation to Florida that was scheduled over Thanksgiving week. We knew this was needed, but I procrastinated and reality slapped me in the face today. Our kids are disappointed and shed a few tears, but heart wrenching for me as we have never taken them anywhere south of Illinois. Never to the beach or someplace warm – during the winter months.

So today kind of sucks! Cancer sucks! I have reached my 3 strikes for the day and can only hope there are no other strikes to come. Participating in a trial or receiving medical care, to save a life, SHOULD NOT bankrupt a family!

So, the sweet sun ☀️ likely would have improved my mood, if it wasn’t so dang noisy outside AND I could just sit here for the rest of the afternoon, but work is calling, so 15 minutes is all I have to spare. It feels dark and lonely today.

So, my advice to you… take it as you will. Enjoy every moment, every vacation you are blessed to take, every dinner you eat with your spouse or kids, every moment in the sun! Because in a moment, it could change and it could all be gone or look drastically different!

2 thoughts on “Ain’t no sunshine…

  1. Live life every day the best you can. Soak in the sun and then go inside and beat the crap out of your pillow. I know seeing disappointment in your kids is hard, but in the end, what is most important is that you are all together … for this Thanksgiving and many Thanksgivings to come.


  2. Ah,Tara I’m so sorry you are having one of those sucky days.
    I spent from 8 to 1 with Ed at MDA Sugar Land . Got his treatment today. Sat in the lobby with a lady who lives about 15 minutes from there but because her son has a blood cancer they have to go downtown. They go every other day. She is 84 but, he’s her baby at 60. I gotta run do school pickup but here come big ol Texas hugs. UNITED SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!!


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