Today

Yesterday, I took to Facebook to update those who care about James and managed to make the post more about venting than anything. Please know that neither of us are scared or sad. Yesterday, I was just pissed! Angry! Frustrated that 7.5 years later and it feels like the treatment hasn’t changed!

Today is a new day. Thank goodness we are always given a fresh start when the clock strikes midnight. Imagine how heavy the burdens of yesterday would be if we continued to carry them into today.

The trial was working for James at one point and now it’s not. That’s no ones fault. It’s this crazy, standing still, reeking havoc, gooey cancers fault.

The most likely reason for the treatment to make such a negative turn around is likely because James can not tolerate 60mg of his chemotherapy. It destroys his muscles, which includes his heart. I’m sorry, but we want James here as long as possible and neither of us are willing to take the chance of the chemo causing him to have a heart attack.

So this is where we are TODAY. James will continue to press ahead until his next scan on June 20th. We will then reconvene with our beloved Dr. Fournier and see what he thinks James should do going forward. We trust him and his opinion and know that he has James’ best interest, and that of our family, at heart.

We will then decided how to proceed. Just because James was in this trial does not preclude him from being in other trials, which is a good thing and this was confirmed yesterday by Dr. Raghav. He may switch back to “watch and wait” and scans every 4 months until the tumors start to give him symptoms that would warrant another surgery. At this point, we don’t have any answers.

I am also looking into options for his records to be reviewed by a University of Chicago physician, who I am told is making some incredible strides. I am also considering reaching back out to Mayo to see what they have cooking since they now have a doctor who knows this cancer and its treatment.

But that is for another day.

Today, James has no symptoms other than some minimal fatigue. He has no pain, discomfort, trouble eating, drinking or sleeping. Today, he is healthy and you wouldn’t know he had cancer if I didn’t spew it all over Facebook.

So we focus on today and leave yesterday in the rear view mirror.