Tired

I won’t lie, I’m tired. James’ appointments are always emotionally taxing. You just never know what you are going to hear and yesterday was a marathon of appointments which adds to it.

Carlie is currently in surgery for what will hopefully be her last for a very long time. In her 15.5 years of life, she has had so many surgeries. 2 to her hip, a hernia repair and now her 3rd knee procedure. She needs a break and very little drama during recovery.

I never worried about post op infections before. James and her have both done well after surgery. But this last surgery of James’ has thrown me for a loop. It can happen to anyone, even when you do everything right. I pray she doesn’t have any post operative issues. Smooth sailing would be appreciated.

I am tired. We all are tired. November 26th (James’ surgery date) seems like years ago not a mere 6 weeks. Carlie has been limping and living with constant pain for nearly year. It has sidelined her from things she loves. I’m over it.

We have had tons of support and lots of love over the past 6 weeks. We so appreciate it. Really we do! But I am aching for silence. Quiet. I’m aching for a healthy husband and a pain free Carlie. I’m aching for Luke to succeed in school and a full night of sleep, without interruption. I’m aching to visit my nieces and nephew (who I still haven’t met). I’m aching for time to be something other than a caregiver and employee.

Don’t get me wrong, I would do it all over and I will continue to do it, I am just tired.

We have been immensely blessed with great physicians, strong medications, a working car to get us back and forth to Rochester for what seems like weekly or daily visits. We have a huge network of prayer warriors and a group who have helped with the simple things, like meals, gift cards, stopping what they are doing to help us in a pinch.

We are blessed but we are tired. So let today be the beginning of the end of our frequent visits to Mayo Clinic! 🧡